It was the last full week of the semester, almost the end of the school year. I thought I could make a difference.
Teaching is much more complex than those outside can imagine. Every day, I am running six different classes, designing and adapting learning activities that I hope will meet the needs of my students. Most days, I work from 8 A.M. to 11 P.M., often with just a break for dinner. Despite diminishing sleep, I need to maintain an energy level that matches that of teenagers, while remembering to remain the adult in the classroom. And I must constantly remind myself of the power I have to affect my students, for better or worse. I can’t afford to be careless, indifferent, hurtful, fake, or ignorant because students never get over it.
As I tumbled into the room, I pored over each of their faces. How familiar those faces were to me now after a year teaching English, testing one another, and learning to trust one another with varying degrees of success. How much I had come to care for them as individuals. But did they know this, and did it matter?
Over the course of my career, I taught students with remarkably different abilities. In the same class, I had students who read at the elementary level and students whose abilities were comparable to SSC students. I taught students who were eager to learn, students with a “who-cares” attitude, and students who were just plain angry about being in school. Some students benefited from strong support systems. Others were struggling to function in unstable family situations. Students entered the classroom with different skills and different needs as human beings — and my days (and often my nights) were consumed with trying to help them.
As the year goes on, I noticed different student’s attitudes. They tend to be the mavericks, the loners, floating and dreaming through classes, and the wild kids who only know how to get a teacher’s attention by getting into trouble. There are boys who sleep as a way of escaping, and another, who “does not make activities and assignment regularly” as his report card states. The tardy one, who is always late in his class, the bullies, who always embarrassed their classmates. Of course, I can’t forget the kind and responsible students who inspire me to continue with my vocation.
I also taught to have compassion for students in trouble. I tracked down students who had stopped coming to class and said whatever was necessary to get them back. I called their parents. I went to their homes. I also kept the class troublemakers with me until we found a way to work together instead of taking the easier way out, which was to drop them out.
To stay grounded amidst the chaos, I realize that it transformed my understanding of what it means to be a good teacher. I learned to become a reflective teacher, to think about the assumption behind the environment I was creating in the classroom. Students don’t care about how much you know until they know how much you care and so, as I struggled through the years, I spent time with students, got to know them as people, and encouraged them to know each other through group development activities that would enhance their abilities. I made sure my students had the chance to meet those expectations by providing them scaffolding at every step of the way and not letting them give up. When students failed, I felt frustrated, but I didn’t blame them for being lazy or stupid. I tried to figure out how to fix it. And thank God, I always made it.
As the year goes on, we, grade 8 English teachers form a cohort, and we become our own chief support. We sit together during free time and gradually begin to share our successes and our struggles. We share teaching activities, tell each other where to find teaching materials even give each other copies of assessments and rubrics we have created. It takes more time, though, for us to develop ICT Lesson plan and later on we come up with a better plan.
Eventually, I found that I had an advantage because I had been using technology. Knowing how to use multimedia software to create presentations, feeling comfortable with tools for Internet research meant that I was able to move beyond to develop learning activities that kids were really interested in. I was granted a LED monitor, donated by the generous parents, so the kids and I could work on multimedia presentations in class, too. This was one aspect of class work I think they liked.
My mission was to make a difference for my students. Did I succeed? The answer comes from students who came to my table with some of his mates and told me that they are hoping to have me as their English teacher in Grade 9. Another one saying, “Just came in to say goodbye, I’ll miss you.” “It will be different without you next year.” Those words are the fulfilling expressions that a teacher expects to hear from his/her students.
By: Maria Cristina E. Bautista |Teacher I- English |Bataan National High School|Balanga, Bataan
