As zenith of God’s creation, man was the only creature created after God’s own image and likeness; he possesses certain attributes from God. One of which is being social. That is, we have the capacity and the need to build relationships.
Building positive relationships is important for our personal well being. The saying goes: It is lonely at the top. And to that someone might say that it is also lonely at the bottom! Truly, life is not meant to be lived alone whether on top or at the bottom. Positive relationship gives us an inner sense of fulfillment. For without positive relationship even our victories become hollow.
Like plants, we need to sow, water, and cultivate relationship for it to grow to be strong and positive. In the context of teacher – student relationship, certain principles must be in placed for the teacher to establish positive relationship with her students.
Principle of Connecting
The first principle the teacher should learn is the principle of connecting. This involves building bridges that connect. Find the key that unlocks the hearts of your students. Know what make them tick – their interests, their dreams, their hopes. One must learn the art of listening to master this principle. Listen emphatically – that is, listen not only for words but also for the feelings behind the words. Listen to understand. A powerful habit was discussed in a chapter of Dr. Covey’s book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, seek first to understand then to be understood. Many of us listen to make our response, our rebuttal, and not to understand. We need to be silent to listen. It is no coincidence that these two words contains the exact letters.
Principle of Complimenting
The Holy Book gave us a truth regarding this principle: There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18). Words impact lives. Positive words impacts positively. The reverse of this also true. Negative words have negative effect. Many lives were crippled by the rash words that undermined their potential and stunted their development. Wise teachers bring healing through their words. Be deliberate in adding value in your student by building their self-esteem. The present studies show that every student has his own intelligence. Focus on the student’s strength and help them shine through it. John Maxwell taught the 101% Principle – find one positive thing in a person and then give your 100 percent to it.
Principle of Correcting
Correcting is a delicate matter in building positive relationship. But done in a right way it will nourish and strengthen the relationship. Proper correction begins with proper motivation. And that motivation must be love. Our example is God Himself: “Because the Lord corrects everyone he loves, and punishes everyone he accepts as a child.”(Hebrews 12:6). The purpose of correction is restoration. A feeling of condemnation or alienation is to be avoided. Thus, the method of correction must also be carefully considered to be relevant and effective.
I surmised that building positive relationship between the teacher and the student will yield positive effect in the learning outcome because it will enhance the learning environment. After all, we learned most when we enjoyed most.
By: FE M. MALIT | Teacher I | Luakan National High School | Dinalupihan, Bataan
