Teasing is often part of growing up — almost every child experiences it. But it isn’t always as innocuous as it seems. Words can cause pain. Teasing becomes bullying when it is repetitive or when there is a conscious intent to hurt another child. It can be verbal bullying (making threats, name-calling), psychological bullying (excluding children, spreading rumors), or physical bullying (hitting, pushing, taking a child’s possessions).
Bullying can begin as early as preschool and intensify during transitional stages, such as starting school in Grade I or going into middle school. Victims of bullying are often shy and tend to be physically weaker than their peers. They may also have low self-esteem and poor social skills, which makes it hard for them to stand up for themselves. Bullies consider these children safe targets because they usually don’t retaliate.
If your child is the victim of bullying, he may suffer physically and emotionally, and his schoolwork will likely show it. Grades drop because, instead of listening to the teacher, kids are wondering what they did wrong and whether anyone will sit with them at lunch. If bullying persists, they may be afraid to go to school. Problems with low self-esteem and depression can last into adulthood and interfere with personal and professional lives. Bullies are affected too, even into adulthood; they may have difficulty forming positive relationships. They are more apt to use tobacco and alcohol, and to be abusive spouses.
If you’re concerned that your child is a victim of teasing or bullying, look for these signs of stress:Increased passivity or withdrawal, frequent crying, Recurrent complaints of physical symptoms such as stomach-aches or headaches with no apparent cause, unexplained bruises,
sudden drop in grades or other learning problems, not wanting to go to school, significant changes in social life — suddenly no one is calling or extending invitations, sudden change in the way your child talks — calling herself a loser, or a former friend a jerk.
Give your child space to talk. If she recounts incidences of teasing or bullying, be empathetic. If your child has trouble verbalizing her feelings, read a story about children being teased or bullied. You can also use puppets, dolls, or stuffed animals to encourage a young child to act out problems.
Adults need to intervene to help children resolve bullying issues, but calling another parent directly can be tricky unless he or she is a close friend. It is easy to find yourself in a “he said/she said” argument. Try to find an intermediary even if the bullying occurs outside of school, a teacher, counselor, coach, or after-school program director may be able to help mediate a productive discussion.
By: Edilina P. Enriquez | T-III | Calungusan Elementary school
