“The end result of your life here on earth will always be the sum total of the choices you made while you were here.” I have choices. We have choices, more choices than we let ourselves see.

People may feel trapped in their relationships, their jobs and their lives. They may feel locked in a controlling or caretaking behavior. Feeling trapped is symptom of co-dependency. I used to be a co-dependent. I often heard myself saying “I have to take care of …”, “I have to say yes”, “I have to control …”, “I have to behave this way, think this way, feel this way…”

I know I was choosing not to see choices. It seems that being trapped is really an illusion. Are you really trapped? Being a teacher for 27 years brought me exhaustion. Every day is a routine and much as I want to, we are not well-compensated. There are bills waiting to be paid as the salary comes. And the succeeding weeks will be restlessness on how to survive for the next salary day. But life goes on…

All that unhealthy behavior changed years ago when I recognized that I had choices. I’ve come to realize that acceptance will bring freedom and happiness. These are my healthy choices. I am not controlled by circumstances, my past, my expectations of others or unhealthy expectations for ourselves. I choose what feels right for me, without guilt. I have options.

Our relationships with co-teachers and principal is another thing. I respect individual differences. I learned to recover. Recovery is not about acting perfectly or according to someone else’s rules. Recovery is about knowing we have choices and giving ourselves the freedom to choose. I choose to open my thinking and myself to choices available to me. I make choices that are good to me. I choose to be happy. I choose to try to do good for others. I choose to love my country and do what I can to help. I choose to live a meaningful life.

I choose love above everything, because “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

By: LOLLY B. RAVAGO | Teacher III | Bonifacio Camacho National High School – Abucay, Bataan