Are you good enough? Is she really your bestie? Does your brother annoys you? Having trouble communicating with your teacher? It is really hard if you think to the core of establishing quite good relationship with everyone. Does it need to please everyone and leave yourself compromising about everything? In the end you lose your identity and true joy in living with them. As the old cliché says “you cannot please everybody”, same thing goes with maintaining good relationship with people around you.
First thing first, maintain a healthy relationship with yourself #SELF-LOVE. (1) Take yourself on a date. You like yourself right? Even if you don’t – yet – this is a wonderful start! Why not treat yourself to some “me” time. Do whatever you want that benefits you even just for a day. (2) Pick up a hobby. Even if you only spend 1 to 2 hours a week doing it, go for it. By learning a new skill, you’re proven to increase your self-esteem by realizing your awesomeness. (3) Go for a walk. Exercise is a proven mood-enhancer and health-booster – with releasing some hormones, you’ll automatically feel more empowered to live life. (4) Laugh… a lot! Laughing speeds up your metabolism. Increasing “feel good” chemicals in the brain, and automatically lifts your mood. (5) Introduce affirmations. Every morning, speak positive and uplifting words to yourself in the mirror. It sounds cheesy, but your body truly does hear every word you speak and think through chemicals triggered by emotions. Remember: “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
What about parent relationship? #PARENTS. (1) If you haven’t already done so, begin to separate emotionally from parents. Take the risk of defining yourself, and stop trying to win their approval. (2) Accept that your parents aren’t perfect (and neither are you). (3) Take responsibility for who you are today. Acknowledge what was troublesome about your growing up experience, accept it, and MOVE on. (4) Know that as an adult you are entitled to your own choices, opinions and decisions, even if they turn out to be mistakes. How else can you learn? (5) Understand that today you have the power to influence your relationship with your parents, even though you’re still “the kid”.
Now let us consider brotherly and sisterly relationship with #SIBLINGS. (1) Take the time and spend with them. Be careful in this that you do not either spend time with someone every time they ask or ask them to constantly spend time with you. Oftentimes relationships are harmed by too much or too little time together. Either one can be detrimental. (2) Quality time. This means sometimes doing something other than the usual. Planning fun things to do together, and not missing important events in their life like birthdays. (3) Future > past. Sharing so much history together makes this seem like natural and normal thing to do. Concentrating on the past can start with simple reminiscing but can lead to igniting old feuds or reminding people of past grudges. Instead stay up to date and in the present. This can lead past old habits and allow both people to build a different future. (4) Take time to listen. Do not judge them or constantly try to change the way they look at the world. Instead, if you want a good relationship with them, you have to learn to respect their opinion of things.
When it comes to friends, this what we have to say: #FriendsForever assures that (1) You show interest in your friends’ life. Being concerned is how every friendship started. (2) Build trust with one another – a foundation where friendship should be established with. (3) Have fun together. Doing things you enjoy doing together is what makes friendship special and enjoyable. (4) Show appreciation. Whether in words or deed, a friend’s gesture of gratefulness in one’s life is worth a value to a relationship. (5) Support each other when things get rough. Making and up keeping each other tough while facing trials is what makes friends strong because you have someone to hold and are never left alone. (6) Handle arguments maturely. Having a bad day with a friend is just an ordinary thing. Individual differences might take place but each must think that their friendship is over and above any misunderstanding at hand. Lastly, (7) maintain contact. No matter how intimate and close you are with your friend, if your means of communication is a hurdle to a healthy and fruitful relationship your friendship will die a natural death soon. Unless you hold on and promote keeping in touch all the best possible times – a long and lasting relationship is a promise to behold.
A student-teacher relationship plays a vital role in the life of every student. That is why #Teachers is a goal to aim when one get to schooling. Simple list like the 14 things I have learned in kindergarten is the answer. Keeping in good relationship with a teacher is a must for every student to master. Here’s how: (1) Don’t get involved with the “bad” kids. Teachers are always on the look at students who are naughty. Better watch out to be on the lookout list. (2) Never ask for your teacher’s age. A figurative expression implying that one must show respect and courtesy to teachers as they are expected to be esteemed. (3) Do not talk, eat or drink in the classroom. Showing some interest and not getting too familiar with them gives a student a hint not to make anything, just anything you like to do inside the classroom. (4) Follow school rules. Being a good student is showing obedience to authority and policy which gives way to express that you are a good boy or a nice girl being taught by parents to follow rules and has no intention of giving the teacher a hard time. (5) Smile. Teachers will feel that you like their class. As you grin on them, you are communicating being open to learning as shown on your face with positively accepting them as your mentor. (6) Participate as much as you can. This entails volunteering and cooperating with classmates during activities which will allow you to showcase your strength and confidence as the teacher witnesses how much effort you exerted just to show your talent and special skills. (7) Never sleep or appear sleepy in class. It pertains to you being uninterested, neglecting and unresponsive in the class which is a negative sign of wanting good relationship with your teacher. (8) Be nice to everyone. Every teacher wants an ideal student as it may seem and if you wanted to keep your relationship with them as positive as you can, then take a chance on it by being nice to all.
Finally and ultimately, a relationship that no one can or should deny. #GOD deals with how we intricately woven our relationship with our Creator. This is not a one-sided love affair as what everybody would say or see but a uniquely designed experience of getting and being closer to someone you do not see but do believe He exists, has a part in your life and an Authority to submit. Nevertheless the experience of having a God is not just like a commander-soldier type, more so it is bounded on love, mercy and grace. So what do you need to know when having a healthy relationship with God? (1) Confess daily. It is said that if sin is the barrier in our relationship with God, then confession removes that barrier. When we confess our sins before God, He promises to forgive us and forgiveness is what restores a relationship that has been strained. (2) Listen to God. Many today are chasing a supernatural experience of hearing God’s voice if we want to grow closer to God, we should read His Word regularly. In reading His Word we are “listening” to God speak through it by His Spirit who illuminates the Word to us. (3) Pray. If reading the Bible is listening to God speak to us, speaking to God is accomplished through prayer. Prayer is much more than simply a way to ask God for things we need or want but also to give Him thanks for all the blessings he gave us. (4) Find a body of believers with whom we can regularly worship. This is such a vital component of spiritual growth. God invites us, commands us, to come into His presence for worship. As we come into the house of the Lord in worship and fellowship with His people, we can’t help but grow closer to the Lord as a result. (5) Built upon a life of obedience. We must keep in mind that all biblical exhortations to obedience are presented as our response to the grace of God we receive in salvation. We don’t earn salvation through our obedience, rather it is the way we show our love and gratitude toward God.
The human person is a highly relational and social being – with the highest need for affiliation than any other species on Earth ever lived. Having a healthy relationship with anyone is just as nourishing a body. A little bit of everything that matters is a recipe to it. Every kinds or types of relationships require a different amount of these ingredients to make it healthful for both parties. It is a give and take process where one nourishes the other while the other refreshes another. There is no perfect relationship as it is founded on the individuality of every person but a searching soul looking for a unique kind of loving, appreciating and encouraging will find its way to the heart of a nurturing relationship as it destined to have. Just keep in mind: “A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, whether it’s Godly, romantic, brotherly, or friendly, is when EACH PERSON is allowed room to GROW, UNJUDGED, AND STILL LOVED.”
By: Jennlyn Y. Dizon |Guidance Counselor II | BNHS Senior HighSchool | Balanga, Bataan
