What is bullying?

Students and parents expect schools to be safe, where students can learn and teachers can teach in a warm and welcoming place, free from bullying, intolerance and violence. Teachers and support staff have the right to a safe and harassment-free workplace under their collective agreements. Students, however, have no special protection and must rely upon adults to keep them safe. Bullying is a pattern of aggressive behavior meant to hurt or cause discomfort to another person. Bullies always have more power than victims. Their power comes from physical size,strength, status, and support within the peer group.

What parents can do

Our children need to be safe emotionally and physically. Addressing the signs of bullying early, before the behavior and its impact get worse, is important to creating a safe school. As a parent, you can help to prevent bullying by teaching your children how to be caring of others, get along, deal with angry feelings, and be assertive without being aggressive in standing up for themselves. Children need to understand how important it is to report bullying. Parents can help by showing them where to go for help when something goes wrong at school, and what action to expect.

Listen carefully to your child

Young children may be reluctant to report bullying, or may not even recognize it. Children will talk about bullying when they know you will listen and help. As you listen and talk to your child, you will be able to determine what level of involvement is needed.

Nurturing your child’s self-esteem

• Educate your child about bullying and bullies. Help him put the problem in perspective and not take it personally.
• Teach your child how to walk in a confident manner.
• If needed, help him pay particular attention to personal grooming and social skills.
• Identify and encourage your child’s talents and positive attributes; doing so may help him better assert himself among his peers.
• Encourage your child to make new friends. A new environment can provide a “new chance” for a victimized student, as he won’t be subjected to the negative stereotype other classmates have of him. Encourage him to make contact with calm and friendly students in his school. Such action may require some assistance on your part, or perhaps a school mental health professional, to develop the child’s skills at initiating contact and maintaining a friendship relationship. This is especially true if your child’s learning problems make his social interactions difficult. Be sure to provide ongoing support and encouragement, because your child, due to earlier failures, will tend to give up in the face of even slight adversities.

Decide how you can help

Intervention is vital. How you intervene is just as important. When talking to your child about an incident, explain that “ratting”, “tattling” and “snitching” are negative labels that may be used to discourage children from reporting. It takes courage to report. Reporting is done to help keep someone safe.

Work with the school

Whether your child is the victim, a bystander, or bully, there is a basic approach to working with the school and district to achieve a positive resolution of the problem. First, contact the appropriate school staff member and report the situation.

In most cases:

Contact the teacher if the problem occurs in an area supervised by the teacher, e.g., in the classroom or gym change room.

Contact the principal if the problem occurs on the playground, in the hallway, at lockers, at the bus stop, during extracurricular school activities, on the way to or from school, or if the problem persists in the classroom.

Contact the next level of authority, which may be a district Supervisor, assistant superintendent, or the district superintendent of schools, if the problem continues.

References:

Call it Safe: A parent guide for dealing with bullying in elementary schools

Marlene Snyder, Ph.D.

By: Elsa T. Bumatay | Teacher III | Mountain View Elementary School | Mariveles, Bataan